Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Juice

I know that I am delinquent in a Boston Marathon post (which was lifechanging and amazing and my favorite marathon EVER).

However, because this is my blog and my space and my time (wow, can you tell I am stressed out?), I am choosing to write about my decision to do a juice cleanse. I can think of a lot of reasons to say why I'm doing this - it's healthy, it rests your colon (??), it resets your body so that you crave only healthy food...but let's face it. The one and only reason why I am doing this is because in less than 3 months, over 150 sets of eyes will be on me and I will be paying a photographer thousands of dollars to take endless pictures of me.

SO now that we've all gotten over the fact that I am being shallow and silly, let's focus on the fact that I have already consumed 2 bottles of juice today and NO coffee.

I received a prep email that told me to cut out meat, alcohol, sugar, caffeine, etc to get ready for my cleanse. Of course, I received this email when I placed the order and not two days before the cleanse started. So while this was in the back of my mind, I chose to prep for my juice cleanse with a beer and 2 ice cream sandwiches. I figured that I wouldn't be eating a lot of calories for the next few days, so why not?

The juices arrived yesterday in a big cooler box. As I pulled them out and set them up in the fridge, I honestly sat there and thought, wow these just look delicious. This will be so fun. And then I ate an ice cream sandwich.

I woke up this morning and proudly skipped my coffee. I was all like, take that stimulants! I had a cup of hot water with lemon. Like an 98 year old grandma. I was really killing it for about 20 minutes, thinking about how I essentially don't need to eat because I am just a machine. Then I realized that the water with lemon was actually making me hungry. Like, craving a bowl of sugar cereal hungry.

But I persevered and packed up my juices for the day in a little cooler that the company had sent me and went off to work. I pulled out juice number one - a mix of celery, kale, spinach, green apple and...some other stuff. I was ready for my breakfast. I was hungry. I was pumped up. I am choosing health!

I was disappointed. Actually, I was gagging. Did I mention that I am not a fan of green juice? I guess a part of me assumed that when I paid $XXX (you don't even want to know) to do a juice cleanse, I would automatically start liking it. I thought maybe when I paid $XXX for juice, they would add unicorn powder to make it taste good. I just assumed that if millions of other people can do this, I could handle it without gagging.

So now I am on to juice #2 and am milking that as much as possible, since it is a fruit juice (mango pineapple coconut and they keep insisting that there is apple in this shit, but I am not tasting it) and #3 is another green one (shudder).

I'm determined to finish it (this juice or the cleanse? Not clear right now), but I'm not sure this is sustainable for someone like me. I'm already starting a list of foods that I want to eat when I'm done. Is this normal?

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